It was so challenging for me to find sex-related songs in my library of tunes. I mean, I don’t have the foggiest idea how innuendo works being the wholesome good boy that I am. O:-)

Oh, whom am I kidding?!? Let the debauchery begin…

1. TUSK by Fleetwood Mac
   In order to have sex, one of the things many people need is a penis. Based on what I’ve read, this Fleetwood Mac song is about Stevie Nicks’ penis…what? Stevie is a woman? Oh never mind…I hear the song is still about a penis and you need a penis to have sex…well, at least I do. By the way…best use of the USC marching band in a rock recording…ever!
2. ROCK MY SPOT by Scissor Sisters
   In order to have sex, some people need a vagina. This song is an ode to pleasing the vagina. And really, who better to pick a song about the vagina than me? And who better to sing about satisfying a vagina than Jake Shears of Scissor Sisters? This one was a B-side to their cover of “Comfortably Numb.” It’s a funky disco number that has a twinge of late 80s/early 90s George Michael in it. Irony abounds!
3. WHEN ARE WE GONNA DO IT by Linus of Hollywood
   Sex is a byproduct of horniness…that horniness is sometimes not satisfied for whatever reason resulting in blue balls. I present to you this jaunty, McCartney-esque ditty about the yearning to get laid. I’ve never heard anybody so upbeat about not getting sex. Oh wait…there are all those interviews with the Jonas Brothers…
4. COMING from “The Apple” soundtrack
   When one has sex, there are feelings of passion, seduction, and satisfaction. They have been written about in many a song, but never quite like this. This is from the best “worst movie” ever: The Apple, a disco-rock movie musical from 1980 set in the futuristic year of 1994. It centers around a singing couple who go on a music competition show only have them torn apart and allured by a big conglomerate music company. [Insert raised eyebrow here.] There’s a bunch of attempted religious allegory that I’ll save for a fuller analysis of the movie, but this song is one of the centerpieces. It takes place in this concubinal montage of not-really-attractive people having sex with each other. It’s all done tastefully as a sort of interpretive dance that was choreographed by (I kid you not) “So You Think You Can Dance” judge/producer Nigel Lythgoe. Oh, and as you’ll hear…subtlety was thrown out the window when this song was written.
5. BAD TOUCH by The Bloodhound Gang
   And when you’re going at it, you just go at it. I mean, seriously, what more can be said about that talks about animalistic, raw sex while namechecking Siskel, Ebert, The X-Files, and Waffle House? I gotta flag this one for karaoke the next time I go…
6. HE’S MY BEST FRIEND by Jellyfish
   Last but not least, when all else fails in the world of sex, you just have to take things into your own hands. This Nilsson-esque tribute to masturbation comes (no pun intended) from one of my all-time favorite albums, “Spilt Milk.” I can’t decide which is jauntier: this song or Linus of Hollywood’s ode to blueballs. Why are these guys so perky about not having full-on sex?!?

All right…time for a cold shower…

Download: Fleetwood Mac, “Tusk” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Scissor Sisters, “Rock My Spot” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Linus of Hollywood, “When Are We Gonna Do It?” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: The Apple, “Coming” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: The Bloodhound Gang, “Bad Touch” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Jellyfish, “He’s My Best Friend” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download all the songs in a handy ZIP file:

Download: “The Sex Factor” (ZIP)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Back in the day - the high school and early college days, to be specific - I was an alpine ski racer. It was not the most easygoing existence, with a lot of early morning wake-up calls, and a great need for getting amped up to conquer race courses that would, at times, intimidate.

(That’s a picture of me, back in 1989, racing the downhill at Sun Valley, Idaho: 70+ mph of fun on two planks!)

One thing that my coach used to help us get ready to go out and win was mental training, which involved deep relaxation, then visualization of the race courses, all done while listening to music. While the relaxation part involved placid, classical music, the racing simulation was backed with hard-charging music.

And many of us dragged our old Sony Walkman units up on the hill with us, the poor little AA batteries straining to play the overused cassette tapes in sub-freezing weather. I tended to favor rocking songs from The Beatles - as well as the Floyd song that leads this list, which my coach used (on my recommendation) for the race simulations.

Since then, I still listen to motivating songs - either from the beat, or from the lyrics - to get me motivated to conquer things. And it doesn’t matter if it’s skiing, or cycling, or doing political work, or simply getting out of bed in the morning - I’m still a sucker for motivating tunes.

1. “One Of These Days” - Pink Floyd
   As I said, this is one of the songs that my ski coach, Olle, used for our mental training sessions. Granted, the version I gave to him had the swirling winds and false starts edited out, so that it started on the ever-repeating bass line. But this is a great song: pulsing bass, a quote of the Doctor Who theme, Nick Mason’s sole turn at lead vocals on a Pink Floyd song, and then guitar and drum chaos added to the mix. It’s a wonderful song for getting a move on!
2. “In Step” - Girl Talk
   One of my favorite albums of 2008 is Feed The Animals by Girl Talk, the stage name of Greg Gillis, a disk-jockey-cum-remixer who sampled hundreds of songs, beats and sounds to create what both Sam and I call one of the best workout mixes ever put to tape (or, in this case, hard disk). Gillis lists his instrument as “laptop,” and the magic he works with one is great. This song made the “Hangover” disc that went out with the “hard copy” version of my Last Call 2008 compilation, and while it was very tough to pick a single song out of the constant flow of the Girl Talk album, this song represents just some of the joyous mess that is Feed The Animals.
3. “Immigrant Song” - Led Zeppelin
   This song seems a bit more my style, no? Now that I’ve come to appreciate Led Zeppelin (I wasn’t much of a fan until after high school), this song has become a motivating fave. This is also one of the few Zep songs that seldom strayed from its album arrangement and duration. Zep often jammed on stage, stretching songs like “Dazed And Confused” into half-hour meditations on a theme (or four). Not so with “Immigrant Song,” whose immediacy is perfect for this mix.
4. “Chelsea Dagger” - The Fratellis
   To me, this song is a “fire ‘em up” drunken bar swagger, and I think The Fratellis would appreciate the description. I love this song because it’s bombastic, yet simple, and touches a primal nerve in the adrenaline producing areas of my psyche.
5. “Rip It Up” - Little Richard
   Speaking of primal, Little Richard is the original, and this song still kills more than fifty years after its recording.
6. “Boss Of Me” - They Might Be Giants
   Most will know this song as the theme to “Malcolm In The Middle,” the long-running sitcom on Fox. But the whole song fits the same paradigm as the short, TV version: independence means getting up and moving!
7. “Never Going Back Again” - Fleetwood Mac
   I’m slowing down the mix here at the end for songs that are lyrically motivating. And this Lindsey Buckingham-penned song from Fleetwood Mac’s epic Rumours album is one that I always turn to when I think of falling back into old habits: “Been down one time / Been down two times / Never going back again.”
8. “The World Ain’t Slowing Down” - Ellis Paul
   A tip of the hat to sprite for pointing out the motivating factor of this wonderful Ellis Paul song, one that asks the listener to take life by the horns and live it up, because “the world ain’t slowing down for no one.”

Download: “One Of These Days” - Pink Floyd (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “In Step” - Girl Talk (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Immigrant Song” - Led Zeppelin (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Chelsea Dagger” - The Fratellis (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Rip It Up” - Little Richard (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Boss Of Me” - They Might Be Giants (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Never Going Back Again” - Fleetwood Mac (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “The World Ain’t Slowing Down” - Ellis Paul (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Okay, sprite raises a fair issue: there is a dearth of women in my playlists.

And I live with her, so she’s well aware that I have a lot of music by women in my collection.

But this challenge was really great, because it made me realize how much great music I have that features women: singing, rockin’ out on instruments, writing some great licks and lyrics. From punk to folk, rock to blues, country to jazz, I have a lot of great women in my collection.

So in this playlist, I give a sample of the women in my (musical) life. And it’s but a small sample.

1. “Hound Dog” - Big Mama Thornton
   Sure, Elvis made this song a hit, and he was credited with introducing a raw, raucous edge to the fledgling rock-and-roll sound. But when you listen to the original version of this song, from Big Mama Thornton, you’ll find that Elvis toned down the song quite a bit. Big Mama really throws herself at this song, and makes it sound like the kind of bad relationship song that it is: full of rage, hellfire and damnation.
2. “Won’t U Please B Nice” - Nellie McKay
   She’s charming, isn’t she? A young chanteuse from New York City (via the UK and many US cities), Ms. McKay has a clear vision for her work - one that has been both a blessing and a curse to her career. Her first album, Get Away From Me, was issued as a double-disc album to give a “side A/side B” flavor to her work. And while this won her acclaim from critics, her record label (Sony) wasn’t thrilled with the extra production cost. So when she wanted to release her sophomore album, Pretty Little Head, in a double-disc format, Sony put their foot down: one pared-down album or nothing. So Nellie bought out her contract and eventually issued the album on her own. I chose this song because it’s somewhat bipolar: the tune is jaunty, playful and upbeat, while the subject matter is very dark. Yup - yet another dysfunctional relationship song for this set.
3. “Landslide” - Fleetwood Mac
   Fleetwood Mac was simply a British blues band until the arrival of two Americans: Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks. The addition of two Yanks to the mix created the chemistry that brought forth Fleetwood Mac and Rumours, two mega-hit albums that defined the pop-rock sound of the late-1970s. Buckingham and Nicks were romantically involved prior to joining Fleetwood Mac (they broke up less than two years after they joined, during the Rumours sessions), and Lindsey wrote many songs for the unique voice of Nicks. Among the best is “Landslide,” which was recently a big hit for the Dixie Chicks. Well, to paraphrase Bono: “the Dixie Chicks stole this from Fleetwood Mac - and now the Mac is stealin’ it back!”
4. “Eddie’s Concubine” - Eddie From Ohio
   Yes, there is an “Eddie” in Eddie From Ohio (though Eddie Harkness is not from Ohio), but the vocal leader for this powerful folk-rock quartet is the incomparable Julie Murphy-Wells. Julie has a gift of a voice: powerful, jazzy and crystal-clear. When EFO performs the “Gospel Wake-Up Call” on the final Sunday of the Falcon Ridge Folk Festival, Julie’s vocals are powerful enough to wake up the entire festival grounds - over 80 acres of people camping. I chose this song because it talks of a woman in an unfortunate situation - feeling like a concubine in her relationship - and finding a way out. Dig the harmonies and excellent acoustic guitar work on this fine “folkin’ excellent” track.
5. “Kiss Kiss Kiss” - John Lennon & Yoko Ono
   You could easily cut out the “John Lennon” credit on this song, because it’s 100 percent Yoko. From Lennon and Ono’s 1980 classic, Double Fantasy, this song is hook-laden and fun. Of course, there are some squeals from Yoko, but they actually serve a purpose during the solo break. And Yoko gets orgasmic in the song - yes, it’s a bit of a TMI moment, but it also works in the context of the song and the album. “Kiss Kiss Kiss” was the B-side to Lennon’s comeback hit, “(Just Like) Starting Over.” This is actually a Yoko song that doesn’t get fast-forwarded when it pops up on my iPod.
6. “Fucking Boyfriend” - The Bird & The Bee
   I was caught somewhat off-guard by The Bird And The Bee. I was initially thrown off by the vocal work of Inara George when I heard her perform “Again And Again” on Leno: she was going after really, really high notes, and hitting most of ‘em quite well. And the song had a hummable tune, if a very nonsensical lyric. So when the full album came out, I was interested in hearing what the rest of the songs held. Needless to say, I was hooked from the first song: George’s vocals and the retro-meets-mod keyboard work create a tasty sonic tapestry. “Fucking Boyfriend” is another great relationship song - not about a great relationship, but about the miscommunication that often happens amongst the single, swinging set. This song, in a remixed version, has been a big hit in dance clubs since late 2006.
7. “This Old House” - Loretta Lynn
   The coal miner’s daughter has seen her share of ups and downs over the years. But her latest studio album is definitely an up, due in large part to her collaborator, Jack White. White’s modern sensibilities dovetail perfectly with Lynn’s classic country and bluegrass style, and “This Old House” is a great little romp of a country tune.
8. “Call My Name” - Charlotte Church
   Remember Charlotte Church? You know, the teenager from Wales who set the classical music world atwitter with her performances of arias and other operatic endeavors? Okay, now toss aside that entire image from your mind. The Charlotte Church of today is a brassy, bratty young woman who chain smokes, hosts an entertaining music variety show on Channel 4 (UK), and sings catchy pop songs. When I first heard this song in 2005 over in the UK, I was completely taken aback: instead of operatic vibrato, there was sassy, note-perfect belting of songs. And then there’s the video, where Charlotte sheds the stage dresses for something…. more risqué, to say the least. The song is power pop, sure, but it’s catchy, good pop - and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Lemme tell ‘ya: I had a hard time narrowing down this list to the 25-minute limit. If I could’ve gone longer, songs by Joni Mitchell, The Pipettes, KT Tunstall, ABBA, Allison Krauss, Patty Smith, Janis Joplin, The Mamas & The Papas, Jefferson Airplane, Ani DiFranco and many, many more would’ve been in the running.

Download: “Hound Dog” - Big Mama Thornton (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Won’t U Please B Nice” - Nellie McKay (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Landslide” - Fleetwood Mac (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Eddie’s Concubine” - Eddie From Ohio (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Kiss Kiss Kiss” - John Lennon & Yoko Ono (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Fucking Boyfriend” - The Bird And The Bee (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “This Old House” - Loretta Lynn (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Call My Name” - Charlotte Church (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Double-X Chromosomes” playlist (xml)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

If you want it all and want it in a single file:

Download: “Double-X Chromosomes” (zip)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)