Not Quite Making George Carlin Proud

It was tough to do this and avoid profanity, but I giggled in giddy glee as I winnowed down the tracks for this set. And I think Mr. Carlin would be proud at how this list rises to the challenge!

1. “Why Don’t We Get Drunk” - Jimmy Buffett
   Now coming out of the mouth of David Cook, Taylor Hicks (or even Carrie Underwood… maybe), aiming at an older audience, this song could work. But out of the mouths of babes (e.g. David Archuleta)? No way Fox TV would let the tweenies hear their poster child croon “Why don’t we get drunk and screw?”
2. “Scream Thy Last Scream” - Pink Floyd
   It’s probably a safe bet that no Pink Floyd songs would ever make it into the American Idol songbook. For some reason, songs about losing one’s father in WWII, going insane and carnal capitalism don’t strike me as disposable pop fodder. But back in the days of Syd Barrett, the Floyd was seen as a possibly viable pop band (e.g. “Arnold Layne” and “See Emily Play”). But Barrett’s rapid decline into acid casualty status put the kibosh on that, and nowhere is it more evident than in this track, which aired on the BBC but was never released as a single. Gosh - I wonder why?
3. “Sue Me, Sue You Blues” - George Harrison
   Ah, sweet litigation! There’s something comforting in songs that talk about the less-than-friendly breakup of one of the legendary bands of all time. But that’s what George “The Quiet One” Harrison sings about on this slide guitar accented number. Again, while it’s not a subject that’s taboo, it’s one that most of the young contestants and voters in the target Idol demographic wouldn’t know.
4. “La Petit Mort” - Erin McKeown
   The French call orgasm la petit mort - “the little death.” And not only does this song talk about orgasm (and its possible Biblical ties), but it’s about having that “little death” with a fellow woman. In terms of taboo, we have both sex and lesbianism - huzzah!
5. “Enormous Penis” - Da Vinci’s Notebook
   Good ‘ol Paul and Storm wrote this ditty about how wonderful it is to have a sizeable phallus - and in four-part harmony, at that!
6. “I Lost My Tampon” - Krause
   Why is it the Dutch have all the fun? This Dutch alt-rocker sings about losing her feminine product somewhere…. place unknown. Would Idol go there? I think not!
7. “The Needle And The Damage Done” - Neil Young
   All the kids are diggin’ the heroin - they love their smack! And leave it to Neil Young to wax poetic about death by overdose - pep rally time!

Have fun!

Download: “Why Don’t We Get Drunk” - Jimmy Buffett (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Scream Thy Last Scream” - Pink Floyd (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Sue Me, Sue You Blues” - George Harrison (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “La Petit Mort” - Erin McKeown (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “Enormous Penis” - Da Vinci’s Notebook (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “I Lost My Tampon” - Krause (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: “The Needle And The Damage Done” - Neil Young (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)