Wholly Inappropriate

Before I settled on my final approach for this month’s lists, I tossed around a few ideas — this was a fun, light theme to work with: “impossible-to-sing songs” could have been anything by Sigur Ros, who sing in a made-up language, or stuff by Fatboy Slim that everyone “sings” to, as if the samples were lyrics; “horribly tacky one-hit-wonders” would have been stuff like "Mambo #5" or anything by Baha Men; “political protest songs” could feature non-red-state fare like recent work from Neil Young and Steve Earle and would be a nice counter to this season’s craptacular flag-waving performance of Lee Greenwood’s absolutely horrific “God Bless the USA.” In the end I went with my gut & decided that “amazing thematic inappropriateness” would be much more fun:

1. Malcolm Middleton, “We’re All Going To Die”
   I know I featured this song on a list recently, but I just can’t resist including a song whose chorus is “You’re gonna die, you’re gonna die, you’re gonna die alone/All alone” given this month’s theme. On an unrelated note, every time I hear this song, it reminds me of this exchange from Trainspotting:

   Tommy: Doesn’t it make you proud to be Scottish?

   Renton: It’s SHITE being Scottish! We’re the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some hate the English. I don’t. They’re just wankers. We, on the other hand, are COLONIZED by wankers. Can’t even find a decent culture to be colonized BY. We’re ruled by effete assholes. It’s a SHITE state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and ALL the fresh air in the world won’t make any fucking difference!

   Middleton’s worldview is just so Scottish in the Trainspotting definition of the word. It’s a delicious downer.

2. Pulp, “Help The Aged”
   This excellent single from Pulp’s criminally underrated album This Is Hardcore is full of lush, late-90’s Brit rock bombast, but it’s also an amazingly depressing rumination on growing older and breaking down. Jarvis Cocker’s elegant Bowie-esque vocals give weight to lines like: “And if you look very hard/Behind those lines upon their face/You may see where you are headed/And it’s such a lonely place.”
3. Moby, “That’s When I Reach For My Revolver”
   I know, I know, it’s a cover. But this is the version of Mission of Burma’s classic that I first became acquainted with, and even after hearing the original, it’s the version I prefer. The song remains deliciously bleak and violent, and Moby’s electro-riffic production gives the guitar a little more snarl. Me gusta.
4. Winger, “Seventeen”
   Ahhhh, romance. Wait, actually, with lyrics like these (”She’s only seventeen/Daddy says she’s too young, but she’s old enough for me”), I think it’s more like statutory rape. Didn’t stop this single from hitting #26 on the Billboard 100, tho.
5. Hedwig And The Angry Inch, “Angry Inch”
   This is one of the better, punkier tracks from the film soundtrack of John Cameron Mitchell and Stephen Trask’s gender-bending cult rock musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It would make for a wonderful addition to any Broadway week on the show, especially with lyrics like these that detail a botched sex change operation: “My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch/Now all I got is a Barbie-doll crotch/I got an angry inch.” Andrew Lloyd Webber would blush.
6. Manic Street Preachers, “Suicide Is Painless (Theme from M*A*S*H)”
   Idol celebrates the movies! Forget Titanic’s bombast and Fivel’s longing: my pick would be the song made famous by M*A*S*H, Robert Altman’s classic black comedy about the Korean War. Everyone knows the melody, but how many know the lyrics?
7. Queens Of The Stone Age, “Feel Good Hit Of The Summer”
   I think the lyrics to the verses (”Nicotine, Valium, Vicodin, Marijuana, Ecstasy and Alcohol” x15) are just as catchy as the chorus (”C-c-c-c-c-cocaine” x15).

Enjoy!

Download: Malcolm Middleton, “We’re All Going To Die” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Pulp, “Help The Aged” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Moby, “That’s When I Reach For My Revolver” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Winger, “Seventeen” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Hedwig And The Angry Inch, “Angry Inch” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Manic Street Preachers, “Suicide Is Painless (Theme from M*A*S*H)” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Queens Of The Stone Age, “Feel Good Hit Of The Summer” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)