Mr. and Mrs. Erotic American

“This one’s a good choice, and it’s not too smutty. It’s a book on tape by Paul Harvey, you know, that nice midwestern man on the radio who’s like a pleasant version of Grandpa?”

1. Tenacious D, “Hard Fucking/Fuck Her Gently”
   Nothing quite as hot as 2 overweight dudes talking about pleasin’ the ladies. “Fuck Her Gently” absolutely kills live, too: the song-closing line “then I’m gonna fuck you hard” is one of the oddest/most amazing crowd sing-alongs ever.
2. Tom Jones, “Sexbomb (feat. Mousse T.)”
   Christ, I’ll probably throw *my* underwear on stage if I ever get to see the man perform. Sweaty, swarthy, and too cool for school, this nugget was nicked from Reload, his excellent 2001 album of collaborations. The only other Mousse T. track I’m familiar with is “Horny,” which I discovered on the Chef Aid South Park album, so obviously this is a pairing from heaven.
3. TV On The Radio, “Make Love All Night Long”
   Sounds like a woozy Bowie bootie jam. Damn, I love this song.
4. Prince, “The Continental”
   It’s a well-documented fact that Prince is a sexy MF, so it was tough narrowing down my choice for this list. Do I go the “Darling Nikki” route, as it was one of the major reasons that we now have parental advisory stickers on albums? Maybe “Soft and Wet”? “Gett Off”? “Do Me, Baby?” “Black Sweat”? “Kiss”? “Hide The Bone”? The head spins with the number of options, so I went with one of his dirtier, lesser-known cuts from the symbol album: “The Continental.” (No, not visions of Christopher Walken) It starts out as a filthy, aggressive, guitar-fueled jam with a memorable refrain (”C’mon let me do u like u want 2 be done”) before changing gears into a breathy Carmen Electra rap detailing, uh, the aforementioned refrain.
5. Pulp, “This Is Hardcore”
   Elegant, perverted stuff. Orchestrations make it sound like the theme to some James Bond movie, while the lyrics make it sound like a Ron Jeremy movie.
6. N.E.R.D., “Tape You”
   Pharrell knows how to get freaky, especially in this plea to his girlfriend encouraging her to engage in a three-way with him and another girl that he can videotape.
7. Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, “30 Seconds Of Magic (feat. Adam Sandler)”
   We all know sex is funny, but puppet dog sex is even funnier. Nicked from Triumph’s classic album Come Poop With Me.

Download: Tenacious D, “Hard Fucking” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Tenacious D, “Fuck Her Gently” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Tom Jones, “Sexbomb (feat. Mousse T.)” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: TV On The Radio, “Make Love All Night Long” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Prince, “The Continental” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Pulp, “This Is Hardcore” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: N.E.R.D., “Tape You” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, “30 Seconds Of Magic (feat. Adam Sandler)” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download all the songs in a handy ZIP file:

Download: “Mr. and Mrs. Erotic American” (ZIP)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)